Remembering Birthdays: Louise Katheryne Sullivan

[gerisullivan]

May 12th was Louise Katheryne Sullivan's birthday. If I'm remembering the year correctly, she would have turned 49 today if all of the considerable efforts to treat her depression had yielded better results than they did. I'm pretty sure she was a '59 baby....

What I know for certain is that she was a wonderful human being and I was blessed to share friendship and family ties with her for what turned out to be far too short a number of years. Thanks to Louise, getting lost while driving rarely upsets me. Thanks to Louise, I marvel at the power of thunderstorms. Thanks to Louise, I know and am friends with Sandy Williams, who has also served as my attorney since I moved to Massachusetts.

Thanks to Louise, I knew...Louise. And that was treasure enough. The 27 years since she died have been a long strange trip, indeed. Strange and wondrous. I have carried her in memory and in my heart every step of the way and trust I will continue to do so through everything still ahead.

Comments

Louise

[markiv1111.livejournal.com]

The grieving takes different forms over the years, but does not go away. Even so, the world is a better place because we remember, and I am glad you are doing so.

Nate

Re: Louise

[gerisullivan.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I appreciate your perspective, Nate. We've known each other through so many of those 27 years. Not each and every one of them, but darned near.

[pameladean]

*hug*

I still have one of her candle-holders. Glass, with a bouquet of grass and flowers painted on the side.

P.

[gerisullivan.livejournal.com]

(((heart))))

It's so very good to know this! Her candle-holder is is excellent hands.

You were of enormous help to me in the pages of Minneapa around the time of the third anniversary of her death. I was thoroughly maddened by the recurrence of grief surrounding the date -- the first year, I understood. The second year, even. But by the third, I'd lost patience with myself and with the grieving process, too. You mentioned that you, too, thought of Louise and were sad about her at that time of the year. Your mention of your own thoughts and emotions helped validate the naturalness of mine. Your comment in Minneapa has literally brought me comfort ever since. Thank you.

There's another, much funnier comfort story that's stayed with me. A few months after Louise died, I had two dream visits from her. In the first one, she hadn't died, she'd just been inexplicably away, and when she returned in the dream, we talked about what Steve and I had done with her belongings, and how many of them we'd be able to get back from various people and places to return to her. But her underwear were wholly unretrievable. "I threw away all of your underwear," I explained in the dream. "We thought you were dead, and that seemed the best thing to do with it," And in the dream, she agreed, telling me that it made sense and that it was okay that I'd thrown all of her underwear away. I still smile at that!

In a later dream visit, she told me that she wasn't visiting from heaven -- she'd gone to a place where she had to work on the issues and aspects of her personality that made it impossible to continue living on Earth. It was hard work, but she was then in a place where it was possible and that was good.

I still take comfort from that dream, too.

[pameladean]

I remember that Minneapa exchange, but I didn't know that you still did. I'm very glad.

Louise would have loved your first dream with the underwear, I think. It cracked me up.

P.

[mjlayman.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry she's gone, but glad her memory is with you.

[kaffy_r]

All my love, my dear.